Currently Listening Original Musiquarium I By Stevie Wonder see related

Things I Will and Will Not Miss About Romania

This will probably be my last blog entry for the summer. Next week the interns and I will start taking down camp and packing it away until next year.

I have been thinking about the things that I will miss about Romania. Many of you know that this will be my and Lee Ann's last summer in Romania - at least for a little while. As I have been thinking about the things I will miss, I have also been thinking about the things that I will not miss. Here is a list (in no particular order) of the Things I Will and Will Not Miss About Romania.

The Things I Will Miss

Relationships with the Children. One of the girls, Ghizi from Sincrai, that our family is close to always cries when we leave but this year her tears where more painful because I knew that by trusting the LORD, there would be a great chance that I would not get to see her again for awhile, but Ghizi is a follower of Jesus and I will definitely get to see her in heaven.

Small Town Feel. In Targu Mures, you can go anywhere at anytime of the day or night and feel safe. It really is a sweet small town and this is funny to say because it has the same amount of people as Greenville, SC (my hometown).

Less Pressure on my Children for Western Things. My children are away from the "lure" of commercialism and possessions and have a definite purpose while they are here. There have been no fights over the PS2 or the constant ringing of a sell phone - So Good!

Things I Will Not Miss

Sleeping in Bunk Beds. I look forward to sleeping in the same bed with my wife. Lee Ann and I have been in the same room but in bunk beds on opposite sides of the room - about 3 feet apart. Didn't see that one coming!

The Roads. Although the roads are getting much better, you still find yourself driving on roads straight from a war zone.

Bread. Every year I have to go on a Bread Fast. I love hard crusted bread but in moderation. I am ready for some Mexican food even Taco Bell is starting to sound really good.

Food Poisoning. Enough said!

Low Doorsways and 2x4's at Every Threshold. I can't begin to tell you how many times I have banged my head on a low doorway. One day we took the kids to the gym instead of the swimming pool because it was raining and as we were entering the gym, I hit my head so hard that my teeth began to hurt. The other problem is that in every doorway there is a piece of wood that you have to step over to enter the room. I am not sure what they are there for and others are equally baffled about their presence, but once a week, as I get up in the night to use the bathroom, I inevitably stump my toe! My toes and my head are rejoicing over our departure.

All and all it has been a really great summer and the LORD deserves all the glory. At one time we had 21 people in our house all living together and not one bump in the road. We saw many young people say that they would like to follow Jesus. We presented a very simple gospel and many children responded. The LORD took their citizenship from hell and placed it in heaven. I would sit week-by-week and be amazed as the children, who had limited attention spans, would sit and listen to the messages each week. I have come to understand that I do not understand everything there is to know about Jesus, and never will - it is a huge learning curve - and how much do you have to understand to follow Jesus? He came and died in our place so that we would not have to and we are called to listen, watch and follow after Him with all of our hearts. I will definitely miss this summer!

Until my next blog - Love and Peace!

Currently Reading Divide and Conquer: Op-Center 07 (Op-Center) By Tom Clancy, Steve Pieczenik, Jeff Rovin see related

Bad Chicken Leads To Good Things!

It smelled o.k. and it looked o.k., but it was not o.k! You know how when meat goes bad it has that jelly type substance on it that makes it look like the jelly around SPAM? Well, this chicken did not have the SPAM quality to it and I only ate two pieces with my Raman noodles.

For the last three days, I have been recuperating from food poisoning and it came from bad chicken! I have to tell you that I have NEVER been so sick in all my life. I probably threw up 20 times - 12 of those times be the dry heaves. My gut is so sore and if that wasn't bad enough, halfway into the heaves, It started coming out the other end! I found myself on the floor of the bathroom in the middle of Romania unable to move and telling the LORD that I had nothing else in my stomach and crying out for help. It was pitiful. I had the hot sweats only until I would throw up and then I would have the cold sweats. It was crazy!

As I have been sitting around praying and thinking about the last couple of days, I have been wondering what the LORD was up to. I believe that He knows all things and that there is a purpose behind all things - if we will just trust Him and as I have been thinking, I am wondering if He took me out of the way to allow our intern team to assume the leadership of camp. Brian Schlarb (an intern who is thinking of pursuing a degree in youth ministry and is a good leader and great influencer) and Sarah Mezaros (who is not only my right hand but a good leader in her own rite and who has been to Romania a number of times and loves the children) did a wonderful job in my absence. Not once did I think that camp would be less without me.

They intern team came home today with stories of how the LORD worked and as I sat on my bed and they sat on the floor for the better part of an hour retelling me the stories of the week, I was glad, in a strange type of way, that the LORD took me out of the picture to allow them to see that they could lead and that the LORD could use them in direct leadership roles.

Currently Reading The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism By Timothy Keller see related

Apalina

Last week was one of the hardest and best weeks of my life. I was both physically spent and spiritually refreshed. We had the opportunity and privilege to care for and love on the children from the town of Reghin who live at Apalina orphan.

Apalina is an old castle estate. As soon as you drive through the gates, you see two statues, an overgrown fountain that has not worked in years and a circle drive that leads to an abandoned castle. If you use our imagination, you can see that this used to be a beautiful place, but to be honest it takes some looking to see all of this and I saw it for the first time this past week. The reason it is hard to see is because it is all so run down and the children standing at the gate and roaming the grounds somehow obscure all of it. Your attention is drawn to the children.

I remember years ago when my family ministered at the local orphanage that we called Big Blue - because it was a big blue building with big blue doors and a big blue roof. The children who lived at Big Blue were older elementary and middle school aged. The conditions, even after communism, were less than ideal. Once these children reached a certain age they were sent to live in Apalina. I remember many of them crying to me that they were afraid to go to Apalina and would run away and live on the streets rather then live at Apalina. Apalina can honestly say that it houses the least of the least of these.

I was thinking this morning of the Spencer Tracey movie, Boys Town and how Spencer Tracey’s character saying that he never met a boy that he did not like. What a wonderful sentiment. To think and act this way, you have to go into working with the least of these knowing that they have horrific stories and that the reason they act the way they do is not because they don’t like you but because they have HAD to live this way to survive. Some of the “hard to live children” were… three brothers who were taken into the system because their father beat them senseless and made them live with the animals. When they came into the system they were feral, wild-eyed children. Another boy had a toe that had been chewed off by a rat and had his entire back burned in some way. These are just four of the 50 children we had in our care this past week.

We knew going into the week that this week would be our hardest week, BUT the LORD showed up in so many ways. I had the opportunity to talk to them four times for about 15 minutes each night and each time you could have heard a pin drop, on the hard dirt floor, as I shared how Jesus loved them and wanted them no matter what they had been through and many of them wanted to follow Jesus. Please pray for the children from Apalina that the seeds that were planted and watered would bear much fruit for the kingdom and that these sweet beautiful children would grow to break the chains of abandonment by living godly lives and raising godly children.

In contrast to the children, we had a team from the West Palm Beach area – a rather affluent area of America. These high school students and adults ministered along side of us and loved hard! Many of the students were challenged to think about the resources that the LORD has made them stewards over – to think biblically that it is not their money, car, clothing, etc, but that they are stewards over much. One young man was sitting in the field, on the last night, crying and wondering why he has so much and these children have so little. As he was wondering out loud, he mentioned on little girl who did not speak and I challenged him to ask the Holy Spirit what he should do. He said that he did not know but I felt (and so did others) that we should pray over her and ask the LORD to heal her. We got up off of the field, gathered everyone together and prayed over her. The LORD did not heal her voice but the next day she wanted to lead us in our prayer before breakfast. I looked at her leader with a look that maybe the LORD was going to heal her voice as she prayed, but he chose not to, BUT maybe her healing was in a different unseen way. She bowed her head, sputtered sounds as her leader whispered in her ear and crossed herself. It was so powerful!

One boy who came to camp with his girlfriend just seemed to go against all of the rules we had at camp – don’t go into girl’s tents, only smoke at the smoke-hole, stay with your group, respect each other, etc. On Thursday, the last full day at camp before we left on Friday to go to the water park, I had to talk to him about threatening his girlfriend. I told him that real men do not beat their girlfriends or those who are younger and that I thought he was a good young man – speaking faith blessing that I hoped would bear fruit. By this time, I had started seeing glimpses of a good young man immerging in an environment of love and care but was battling a lifetime of hurt and abuse. Another event had me moving towards him to talk about his threatening to beat up a boy unless he gave him 10 lei (about $5) so he could buy cigarettes and as I was walking towards him, I saw him run down another younger boy and begin to kick him like a dog. I dropped what I was carrying and put a linebacker tackle on him that landed him on his back. Needless to say, he was sent home thinking that he would be hurt and mad – never wanting to see me again, but this was not the case. On Saturday, we go back to the orphanage for one final visit after camp and guess who was waiting for me? The boy we sent home. My first thought was that he would be mad and ready to fight (I had been praying against this), but he was open and loving. This blew all of us away! The LORD was working.

One last thing about Apalina before I close- we all left the week hurting and wondering what kind of future these children have. The LORD brought one boy to mind this past Saturday (the day we went to visit the children) – his name is Gaspar (Gash-par). He was one of the boys from Big Blue who went to live at Apalina. The LORD brought Gaspar to mind because Lee Ann and I were walking in the center and guess who we ran into? Gaspar. I told him that I had been thinking of him and we talked about what he was doing, how handsome he was and how proud of him we were. He is working and making it! The LORD sent Gaspar to remind me that He is in control and that He is watching over His children and for me to rest in what I am called to do and leave the harvest to the LORD of the harvest.

Currently Listening Not Guilty Anymore see related

Week Five

Today is the first day of week five which means that Sarah and I will be leading camps by ourselves. I have done this before and have never been as nervous as I am today. In the past, I have been called upon to step in and take over camps in Romania and have done it with not so much as a deep sigh, but for some reason this is different. Maybe it is that I am coming to understand what is at stake.

I have noticed something about myself and that is the older I get the more I feel that I am a struggler. For example, when I was in my twenties and asked to preach, I jumped right in and preached. In my thirties, I was a little more dependent and now in my forties, I am still willing but the weight of the responsibility scares me. I am not sure what is going to happen in my fifties and sixties – I will be a wreck!  Another example is when Lee Ann and I started having kids, I felt like I struggled at very little, but in my late forties, I feel that I struggle with so much. I have been thinking that it would be better if it was the other way around – i.e. I am a huge struggler in my 20’s when my children are young and can’t perceive that I am a struggler and as they get older (and perceive more) and I get older (start having it all together) then they will not see me struggle. I would say that this is unfortunate but I think that it is very fortunate for my children (and for me). First of all, they see that their father needs a Savior and secondly it gives me an opportunity to display dependence upon the LORD – something that I want my children to grasp before leaving our home. Plus, who wants to be raised by a person who never struggles?  I tend to identify with those who struggle.

I was driving down the road one night and was listening to Family Life with Dennis Rainey. Now I know Dennis and he is a very sincere and godly man, but that particular night I thought to myself, “If he shares one more success story about his family, I am going to throw up!” – because I was struggling and did not need to hear a success story. As Dennis began to speak, he told a story of how he and Barbara were struggling with one of their children and in a weird sort of way, it brought great comfort to me.

This feeling of “being out of my comfort zone” is really a good place to be. I have also learned that this is exactly the types of situations that the LORD uses to bring more glory to himself and to keep me listening to His voice. I remember doing my very first funeral. It was for a young man who was in my very first youth group. I was so nervous but felt like the LORD has spoken on how the service was supposed to be conducted. I was praying every second of every day up until I assumed the pulpit and as I stepped up to the microphone a huge stillness and comfort came over me – assuring me that the LORD was with me.

So, I will take these feelings of nervousness right into camp as a good sign that the LORD is making me dependent upon Him and that as I walk by faith and not by sight, He will be glorified, His plans will be accomplished as HIs kingdom is brought near.

Currently Listening Mockingbird By Derek Webb see related

My New Modern Day Heros

When I first started blogging, I was taking care of my father and used it as a type of therapy. It was quite therapeutic. I typed my thoughts and thought it was only for me, but found that I did have an audience.

I enjoy writing and one of my favorite authors is Donald Miller. If I could write, I would want to write like ole D.M. I got the opportunity to hear him in person and was quite amazed at the way he weaves a story. As I sat and listened to him, I was wondered to myself, at the beginning, where in the world he was going but by the end of his "tale", it made perfect sense. I have entertained writing and I know the best way to learn to do anything is to get around those who are doing it well. Watch out Donald (as if he is reading this) I may show up on your doorstep.

Another person who I think is a master at weaving a musical tale is Derek Webb. He used to be the lead singer for Caedmon's Call. I got turned on to his music about four months ago and, I have to admit that I was not to interested at first because I was not ready for more Caedmon's Call (even though I am a fan of their music), but what I found was amazing. He was saying things in music that Donald Miller was talking about in his books.

I would like to encourage any of you who have never read a Donald Miller book or listened to a Derek Webb album to do so. At times they are shockingly honest about the church and always accurate about our relationship with our Savior.

I know that it is a dangerous thing to set anyone up as a hero and I know that Donald and Derek would not embrace the "hero" moniker and maybe the title "hero" is a little too much, but, unless they become heretics, I will buy anything they put out.

Warning: you must read and listen with an open heart because the truth not only hurts; it also hits close to home.